


feb 14 11:31pm

by jaemluv (orphan_account)



Series: Notes App Archive [2]
Category: CIX (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Emotional Baggage, Gen, Heartbreak, Hurt No Comfort, Keeping my sad bjy streak, Mentions of Seunghun, Post-Break Up, Random & Short, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:07:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29461023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/jaemluv
Summary: he misses seunghun so much it hurts(lowercase intended)
Series: Notes App Archive [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2163897
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	feb 14 11:31pm

**Author's Note:**

> really making the most of dumping all my notes onto here- this is extremely short and unfulfilling, but mostly because it’s really self-indulgent. sorry bout that 
> 
> (i just named this what it was named in my notes)  
> [UNEDITED]

he misses seunghun so much it hurts

tight coils of anxiety fills his chest at the thought of him, and searing hot pain licks at his stomach as he looks through their old messages

but _no,_ he can’t text him

not when he knows he’s moved on, and not when he knows it will only result in further heartache

(it always does, but jinyoung never quite seems to learn his lesson 

and he hopes that all the times since then that he’s decided against reaching out are counting towards something)

he knows he _shouldn’t_ miss him- shouldn’t miss someone who wasn’t, _isn’t_ good for him

but when he thinks about everything they went through, it’s almost inevitable

he misses his smile  
he misses his laugh  
he misses the way his eyes seemed to light up when he would talk about things that excited him 

and it’s hard for jinyoung, of course it’s hard

(but what does it matter when he knows that the moment he sends a message, he’ll be taking away all the smiles and laughter that he l̸o̸v̸e̸s̸ loved so _so_ much

it would be selfish of him, something that would be unforgivable to seunghun and himself)

jinyoung’s happiness isn’t the priority if it takes the happiness away from someone else 

(but does seunghun think about him too?)

seeing him move on is more important than the nights jinyoung spends gasping for breath that he can’t seem to catch at the thought of their last goodbye

(jinyoung hopes that one day, he’ll be able to think of all the good times they had and feel at peace, feel grateful 

but until then, he pretends he doesn’t remember, and pretends he doesn’t notice when seunghun finds someone else)


End file.
